The soup secret
by Batzlover
Summary: When faced by a problem we all face, what are robin and nightwing going to do? And to answer the biggest question there... who drinks this much soup?


**This is a story based on a situation I am sure that everyone has faced sometime or the other.**

'Tim go get something to eat' nudged Dick as the 2 brothers were watching a boring rerun of a movie.

'Go get it yourself ' he replied impatiently.

'Why should I, when I have my own persnal slave to do my bidding?' Replied Dick as he was stating something blatantly obvious.' And dont tell me that you are enjoying this movie, I mean the special effects are so bad that they shouldnt even be legal!'

'But I am not hungry; you will just have to wait till I am'

'I fail to see the logic behind that statement.'

'If you start eating while I am not eating, you will eat everything and I will not be able to enjoy food later when I'm hungry because you ate all the stuff when you were hungry and I wasn't hungry so my hunger will not be satisfied then but your hunger will be satisfied because you are hungry now and I am not hungry now and if you eat something now, you will not be hungry later but I will still be hungry ' replied Tim

'Tim, stop arguing because one- your argument dosent make any sense to me and any other sensical person. And two- I AM TOO HUNGRY TO KEEP ARGUING ARGUING WITH YOU!'

'Ask Alfred to get something then'

'Bro, don't you remember that he is sick?'

'Oh yeah...'

'Now get me some damn food' Dick said as he literally pushed Tim off of the bed

'Hey! That is just plain rude'

'I become cranky when I am hungry'

'You have got to be one of the most annoying people on the planet'

'And that's my best quality. Now dont whine and get me something to eat.'

As Tim rummaged through the shelf, he wondered if he had opened up the wrong shelf because the one be opened had a lot of food but none of the type that the 2 brothers would like to eat. He checked all the other shelves around it just to be sure but couldn't find traces of the chips he was eating yesterday, or the chocolate that he had successfully kept away from Dick's grasp, or the nachos that Alfred had brought from the local store just before falling sick. Hmmm nothing g here he thought as he went to the fridge and opened it to see just some fruits and canned stuff that Tim wondered why had been bought. He tried to remember seeing someone eat these canned sweets in the Wayne household but came up blank.

Making his way back to the shelf, he remembered what Bruce said to do when you can't find something that was supposed to be there. He had said that you should closely analyse the situation, collect all the problems you have and systematically dissect each one until you have found the object in question and figured out the reason of its disappearance. Ok... first step-collect the problem.

Tim grabbed every food item on the shelf and pulled it down on the floor. Now he again began searching for something worth eating out of all these food items and kept them back on the shelf one by one. He figured this way he could systematically dissect the problem. The first item he saw was a packet of the same biscuits he saw in the fridge. Gees how many packets of this stuff have we bought for no apparent reason? He thought as he collected all the packets of that flavour and kept them back on the shelf. Ok next is popcorn, hmmm... tough choice. Popcorns are to be eaten during the movies but the current movie is completely boring and he didn't want to waste the only packet left of popcorn while watching this movie. 'Some other day some other movie' he muttered as he kept that back on the shelf along with the biscuits.

'Tim! Where are you?'

'Wait a minute! I am deciding what to eat!'

'How tough can that be?'

'Why don't you come down here and help me find it then?

'Fine! But seriously, what was the point of sending you down there if I have to cm down anyway?!'

'Just come here and stop whining!'

Ok. Let's continue... next up is soups. Do we even want to drink soups now? Maybe...depends on the type of soup. Let's see... tomato soup, another packet of tomato soup, one more packet of tomato soup, yet another packet of tomato soup? Who drinks this much tomato soup! I don't even like tomatoes that much! Okay... veg sweet corn soup for a change, chicken soup and one more freaking packet of tomato soup! Damn who the hell drinks this much tomato soup?

'All the stuff here is worthless, from where Alfred gets all the tasty stuff when we ask him to get something to eat?' he muttered to himself as an idea began to form in his mind. He frantically began searching the shelf for a sign and touching everything he could trying to find some clues.

'What are you doing?' asks Dick suspiciously as he stands behind his younger brother (sort of) and sees him searching for something inside the shelf when every food item was down on the floor for some reason.

'I ah...' Tim thought how suspicious and/or wierd it must look like to a bystander.

'I am trying to find the secret compartment in this shelf where Alfred keeps all the good stuff.' 'And am I supposed to believe this story?' he replied half shocked half amused.

'Well... what else is your explanation for me not finding anything suitable for eating when I am sure that this is exactly where Alfred keeps all the goodies?' snapped Tim

'First of all... don't call food goodies and second, a more reasonable and simpler explanation is you not looking hard enough.' He replied in the most calm and sincere tone he could manage.'What's that in your hand?' he asked. 'Hmmm you wanna drink tomato soup?' 'No! I was just curious with the number of tomato soup packets we had.' 'I count seven packets' Dick said as he quickly counted the number of packets in Times hands. 'No, five. Two out of these are sweet corn and chicken but seriously, five packets of tomato soup? Do his like tomato soup that much?'

'Hell no. Hey, there are more packets of soup down on the floor. Let's count how many of them are of tomato soup'said Dick, his hunger momentarily forgotten.

'Not anymore I hope'

They quickly divided into the small bundle of soup packets between them and started to count them

'I only got three more tomato soup packets here' said Tim as he finished counting his share

'Yeah but I've got four more packets of tomato soup.' Said Dick.

'That added to the soups already there gives us twelve freaking packets of tomato soup!'

'This is getting seriously wierd. Who drinks all that tomato soup? It's not like a lot of people live in this house!' exclaimed Dick, his hunger now completely forgotten.

'Let's see... I don't drink this much tomato soup, neither do you, this leaves us with Bruce and Alfred. Do you think Bruce drinks that much soup?' asked Tim.

'No I don't.' Bruce calmly replied from behind them. 'Whoa! Where did you pop out of?' asked Dick, in wonder.

'I came by to see why the hell are you both causing this much ruckus in the kitchen, when I saw what we're you doing, I listened in go your conversation and frankly became interested in all these tomato soups'

'You should not have said this last line! No I will never be able to get the image of you in your bat suit in the kitchen making a tomato soup!' exclaimed Dick in horror as Tim burst out laughing and Bruce aimed his omega level bat glare at his adopted son. One that makes criminals literally wet their pants.

'Oh no! The horror! Imagine him throwing a soup spoon in place of his batarang!' shouted Tim

Their laughs quickly quieted down when Bruce said, 'By the way, the Batmobile is too dirty after I chased the riddler in it through the alleys. Dick, go and clean the car'. He ordered. 'What, no!' but he knew it was worthless as he started to walk towards the secret entrance to the batcave. 'Bruce was just about to tell Tim to sort through bundles of your paperwork when Dick said,'Wait, you need the car by night, right? I can wash it later! And Tim can sort all the papers with me! We can do this later!'

Bruce narrowed his eyes looking at the pros and cons when he finally said,'Ok... but I need the car and the papers by nightfall. No later! Or else' he left the threat hang as he slowly retreated to his cave.

'Phew that was close' said Dick in obvious relief.

'You do realise that you still have to wash the Batmobile right?' asked Tim

'Yes but if you bother to remember, I am hungry!'

'Oh yeah' said Tim who had forgotten about it. 'Let's see what we can eat then'

They started rummaging through all the food down and slowly keeping it back on the shelf. A loaf of bread? Nah. Some biscuits? No... not that flavour. Some spaghetti? They were sure that if they tried to cook it without Alfred's supervision, they'll end up with messy clothes, a kitchen with pieces of spaghetti stuck to the walls and a very pissed off Alfred.

'Hey look! A chocolate' said Tim as he held it in from of his brother. 'Finally! We found something eat able!' exclamation Dick, his face lit like a Christmas tree. 'Give it to me' 'Nope I found it' argued Tim. 'But you aren't even hungry' whined Dick. 'So? You don't ned to be hungry to eat chocolate.' He calmly replied as he started to unwrap it. 'Give it to me!' he shouted as he lunged to grab it. 'No! Leave it alone' countered Tim as they started a mini tug of war for a piece of chocolate.

'What is this entire ruckus about?' asked Alfred as be seemingly popped up from nowhere. 'And why does my kitchen looks like a natural disaster just happened here?'

The boys took in the scene in front of them. Pieces of food scattered all over the floor, the shelf almost completely wiped clean, wrapper of the chocolate still on the floor and two grown up mature boys fighting over chocolate.

'Um... it's ah... hey wait a second; you are supposed to be in bed!' 'I am supposed to be but I can't simply stand around and watch as the house I have looked after for more than your ages combined go up in chaos' he replied in the most stern voice he could manage. 'You both are going to clean all this mess you have made and make the kitchen spotlessly clean.'

Both Dick and Tim were about to say something but he wasn't finished.

'You both have been trained by the batman! You are supposed to fight to save the lives of people, not over petty things like chocolate!'

'Chocolate isn't a petty thi-

'Don't interrupt me Master Tim. Now, you will clean up all this, put everything back where it belongs, spotlessly clean the kitchen and for God's sake put that bloody wrapper in the dustbin!'

'Man, this sucks! I have to clean everything here and the Batmobile!' Dick paused as if remembering something, 'AND I AM STILL HUNGRY!'

'When this is over, we are going out to get something edible.'

Alfred was about to leave when he saw the number of tomato soup packets. He quickly counted them and said, 'Oh and Master Tim, I would normally do this on my own and not ask you to do it for me but considering my current state, could you buy some tomato soup packets while you are out there? We are running low.'

Tim stared in shock at the retreating form of Alfred, then at the twelve packets of tomato soup on the floor, then at Dick to see if he had made the connection. 'Did he just?' Tim slowly asked.

'Yup... We have been raised by a man who has a secret obsession with tomato soups and thinks that having twelve packets of soups is less'

'This gives the line my whole childhood was a lie a whole new meaning dosent it?'

'Totally. And by the way, I want you to know something'

'Yes?'

'Remember that piece of chocolate we were fighting about?'

'Yes...'

'I can't find it anywhere.'

'Wait, are you telling me that while we were staring in shock about this new relevation, Alfred took our chocolate!'

'No...I mean to say that when we were staring in shock of this new revelation, I silently stuffed the chocolate in my mouth.'

'What? Hey!'

'I said I was hungry!'

THE END

 **Was it a bit too crazy and non realistic for them both to be true? Anyways let me know how you feel about this story in the comments.**


End file.
